Secret Drinker reviews Watergate Yard in Sleaford
Some pubs just have the wow factor. But Watergate Yard takes things to extremes.
I hadn’t even walked into the building and I was in love.
The entrance to this pub-restaurant is via a walkway decorated with mirrors, plants, ornaments, sofas, an Andy Warhol pop art tribute to Queen Elizabeth and even a retro arcade machine.
Keep going an you enter a giant courtyard where graffiti-daubed walls enclosed neon signs, plenty more greenery and a surprising amount of seating, set out in a large, sociable manner to ensure people get talking.
With rugs strewn over the benches and upholstered chairs it looked part hippy commune and part Xerxes’ harem tent.
I could have spent the night just gazing at all the hidden quirks, and I hadn’t even had a peek inside yet.
Of course that - maximalist to the extreme once again - wasn’t a let down either.
It was like someone had fed Abigai Ahern mind-altering mushrooms and told her to go wild as the heavy green walls were offset by brightness from all angles - modern takes on art classics, pink blossom, yellow ram skulls, an antlered Strormtrooper helmet, dried pampas.
A fish tank too? Why not?
It’s hipster, it’s boho, it’s retro, it’s modern, it’s street. It’s just really, really cool.
Even the staff were extensions of the place with their skinny jeans, baggy tees, neat, curly moustaches and skull-clinging caps.
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At the bar lesser-known IPAs shared space on the pumps with better-known beers like Camden’s Hells and Pale on the pump along with the more traditional Guinness and Peroni,
Expect to find this establishment in Hoxton? Yes. Sleaford? Well, I’m shocked. No, pleasantly - seriously pleasantly - surprised.
This was a quiet midweek evening and the only other patrons were a couple by the bar and a table at the rear laughing loudly as they sipped on post-meal drinks.
We ordered and headed for a table. Given the social-seating arrangements outside I must admit I was a little put out when the table of five went from raucous guffaws to dead silence as we sat, not even that close to them.
I wouldn’t rush to compare myself to James Bond (the only licence I cared about was the one above the door), but this was a record-scratch moment akin to Roger Moore’s 007 entering the Fillet Of Soul in Harlem halfway through Live and Let Die.
After what felt like an awkward, embarrassing age the other table got back to their chat, presumably changing the subject after I almost uncovered their plot to overthrow the Government, or whatever.
We’d only been inside about 15 minutes when the barman came over to take payment from my new friends and warn us all they were taking last orders. It was 9.13pm.
I would have liked to stay for another and had a serious look around, but understand that when the kitchen’s closed and the place is all-but empty, the staff have way cooler things to do with their evenings than hang around watching strangers getting excited by neon Coke signs or a piano with lips on it.
But as we exited early there was one more treat in store waiting in the gents.
Calm your mind.
It was just urinals fashioned from old beer barrels, but yet another lovely little touch.
What a brilliantly beautiful place. I’ll definitely be coming back, just a little earlier next time.
WATERGATE YARD, WATER GATE, SLEAFORD, NG34 7PG
DECOR: You’ve just read my 500-word love prose to the place. It’s immense and my snaps don’t do the place justice. It takes an awful lot of skill to make anything look quite so chaotically appealing. 5/5
DRINK: I was driving so went for a bottle of Lucky Saint, which is arguably the best non-alcoholic beer. 4/5
PRICE: I paid £10.50 for a Lucky Saint and pint of Camden Hells. I’ve paid almost that for Hells on its own before, and Lucky Saint ain’t particularly cheap - so not too bad. 3/5
ATMOSPHERE: Everyone was having a rip-roaring time until I sat down. Apart from a few other drinkers the place was very quiet, hence the last orders just after 9pm. But I reckon on a summer’s day the courtyard will be buzzing. 3/5
STAFF: The two guys serving were nice blokes, chatting to us about the drinks they serve and also fair about calling time. 3/5
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Do you agree with the secret drinker or have any suggestions where he should go next? Where is your favourite beer garden? Email secretdrinker@lincsonline.co.uk or comment below.
