Stamford family set up Bereavement and Loss Matters (BALM) support group

A charity has been set up by two parents grieving the loss of their five-year-old son.

In December 2021, Helen and Pete Blythe suffered the tragic loss of their son Benedict who died suddenly following a collapse at school.

Heading back to their home in Stamford after his death, they left carrying a pile of his clothes and a piece of paper ripped from a notepad with the details for a police officer.

Realising there was a lack of support for grieving families, the pair, along with volunteers who have an experience of child loss, set up the organisation Bereavement and Loss Matters (BALM).

Helen said: “We can’t take away the unbearable grief that comes with losing a beloved child, but we can try to make accessing help and support a little easier.

“I was astonished at how you can experience one of the worst things imaginable and then realise that there’s so little help. I knew we had to change that.”

Working with parents, grandparents, siblings, step-parents and carers, Helen and Pete hope BALM will take the ‘heavy lifting out of finding the right support’ by linking families with charities and offering resources, articles and videos.

In partnership with the Samaritans, BALM also offers people the opportunity to talk about what they’re going through with a trained specialist volunteer.

“As hard as things were for us, we also recognised how helpless the GPs, nurses, paramedics and police all felt in not having anywhere they could signpost us to that might offer support.

“We hope the organisation will also give them a tool that makes those hard moments a little easier,” said Helen.

BALM is looking for volunteers to help run support groups from the autumn, giving families the opportunity to spend time with others who are going through the same devastating loss and enabling them to build a community of people with shared experiences.

The BALM team hopes to hear from others who have personal experience of child loss, either as a parent, sibling, grandparent or carer.

Pete said: “We miss Benedict every day. He was a kind lad, who wanted to help people when they were sad.

“If we can use this experience to stop people who will lose a child in the future feeling so alone, then we’re doing his memory justice.”

Visit www.balm.support for more information.