Grantham funeral celebrant Adam Jacobs shares insight into role
A funeral celebrant says the services he leads are more of a ‘celebration of life’ rather than a focus on religion.
Adam Jacobs, who lives in Grantham, took early retirement in 2019 after a long career in local government and housing associations.
Then in 2020, the now 64-year-old said he came across Humanists UK - a charity that educates on humanism and non-religious world views - which was providing training for celebrants in events such as weddings, naming ceremonies and funerals.
Adam said: “It was an organisation I found that facilitated my view of the world.
“When I noticed they had this network of celebrants and they were frequently training them, I had a look into it.
“I thought funerals were the most interesting with my view of wanting to help people in a very difficult point of their lives.”
A funeral celebrant is someone who leads a funeral that tends to be a non-religious ceremony.
“It is about the person who died, it’s mourning the fact they died, but celebrating the fact they lived for however long they lived for,” said Adam.
He added: “I grew up in a religious family and most of the funerals I went to were church funerals.
“I am not anti-religion, but I found coming away from them it was a lot more about religion rather than the actual person.
“With these funerals, it’s a moment of real sadness but it is also an opportunity to see what they achieved in their life and celebrate that, and for people to go away afterwards and think you did the right thing for them.”
Adam has led a funeral for people as young as 20, all the way up to 103 years old.
Although they are mainly non-religious, some of the ceremonies can be religious if a family wants it to be.
Adam added: “Some people may want some religion in a ceremony, such as a hymn.
“They are predominantly non-religious ceremonies, but at the same time it’s very inclusive.
“I always make a point to people that anyone is welcome for whatever they believe.”
Another aspect of celebrant ceremonies is they can be held anywhere, compared to a religious ceremony which takes place in a church.
Adam added: “They can happen anywhere you want.
“It’s not like a wedding where the actual place has to be licensed. Quite a lot of people may want to have part of it at a crematorium, which is an absolutely fine way.
“It is a room for both people to get together, it has screens to show photos and has facilities to play music.
“But after the crematorium, they can take it to somewhere like a village hall for the celebration of life.
“It works really well as people can move seamlessly from the ceremony into a wake.”
When a family approaches Adam, he will set up a meeting with them to get to know the person that has died.
He said: “As a funeral celebrant, I will spend a lot of time with the family and friends, and really try to get to know the person.
“I will arrange an appointment to sit with them for at least two hours.
“It’s an emotional time and they may want to have a cup of tea and a little cry.
“It’s not something I find uncomfortable and hopefully it is not something they find uncomfortable.
“After, I will then go away and make a script for the ceremony and send it to the family for them to correct and approve.
“They then know what they are getting from the kind of ceremony they want.”
In his nearly five years of being in the job, Adam has heard some interesting stories from the people he learns about.
He said: “Some people will say their life is boring, but it is surprising how many interesting things you will hear.
“Once I had a lady who died, she was 103, and she had written a letter when she was 13 years old.
“Her family still had a copy of it, even 90 years later. For something written by a 13-year-old, it was really good.
“It was nice because I had a piece of paper that had this lady’s handwriting on.”
Adam said hearing about peoples’ stories is one of his favourite things about his role.
He added: “If I didn’t enjoy the job, I wouldn’t be in it.
“Partly, it is about the people and hearing these amazing stories about the person that has just died.
“Then, it is about helping the families and friends. Ceremonies are really special and are really focused on that person.
“It is a really special moment to get people together to celebrate a life.”