Grantham father, 79, backs call for national memorial for stillborn and miscarried babies after 56-year wait to find his children
A father who waited 56 years to find out what happened to his children is now backing a call for a national memorial for stillborn and miscarried babies.
In 1968, Richard Pollard’s first wife Shirley, from Grantham, gave birth to a daughter at Nottingham City Hospital, but sadly the little girl was stillborn.
The following year, Shirley gave birth to a son at the same hospital. Devastatingly for the couple, this baby was also stillborn.
On both occasions, the babies were born at eight months - Shirley went into early labour because she was type 1 diabetic - and both times, the baby was taken away from Shirley, and she was left with no idea of where they were taken.
“All Shirley ever said was the babies shot out and they were taken away. No emotion was shown from the doctor,” said Richard, 79.
“Her experience was terrible. She was a type 1 diabetic since she was four years old and she was told it would be hard to have a baby.
“With the first baby, they took her into Grantham Hospital, decided things were not right and so they took her to Nottingham.
“On the way the baby died. The doctor was really horrible.
“It was the same doctor that delivered the second. I spoke to the doctor and she wasn’t empathetic at all. I said ‘can we know where they are?’, they said no and that was it.
“No information from anyone at all.”
In the years after the babies deaths, the couple didn’t speak to each other about their loss.
Richard added: “It was something we never spoke about. I didn’t mention it to Shirley and she never mentioned it to me.”
The couple never had any more biological children, but they went on to foster two boys called Roy and Jay.
Richard said: “We never had any more of our own, but the two boys we fostered are very good and they are our children.”
In 2011, Shirley died aged 65, of septicemia, after her bowel burst.
Five years ago, Richard then met his partner Pat Royce, and he told her of the story of his children and how he didn’t know where they were.
Pat, 79, who lives with Richard in Grantham, decided she wanted to find out where they were. She is a mother of two herself.
She said: “It was really bugging him. Try and put yourself in a position where you couldn’t possibly know where your children are.
“If they go missing up the road for five minutes you worry, but to not know where they are buried must be heartbreaking.”
She first approached Nottingham City Hospital, part of Nottingham University Hospitals Trust in 2021, asking if they had any records of stillborn babies that could give them an idea of where they were buried.
Pat said: “Unfortunately, the reply from them was unhelpful.
“They said that medical records were not kept for that long, the request was well outside the time limits within the NHS complaints procedure and suggested that Richard should speak to his GP for emotional, mental health and wellbeing support.
“Richard didn’t want to make a complaint. He wanted and needed to find his babies.”
Pat then contacted several cemeteries near the hospital to query if they had any records. Despite them being helpful, the pair still didn’t have the answer they were looking for.
By September 2023, they had still not got any answers. However, they got in touch with Sands, a charity which supports people affected by the death of a baby.
An intermediary was engaged by the charity and he was given permission to search in places Richard and Pat wouldn’t have been able to themselves.
Pat said: “We never knew that there was a national record of stillbirths, so we requested a copy of certificates for both babies which had been registered by the hospital.”
By February 2024, Richard found the babies were buried at Bullwell Cemetery in Nottingham, 30 miles down the road.
“It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders,” said Richard.
“I could not believe that after 50-odd years we knew where they were. It didn’t matter where it was, we were near them.
“It was also nice because they were only 20ft apart from each other.”
After finding where they were, Richard named his daughter Eileen and son John.
Richard said: “The reason I named them was after my two cousins, who were also brother and sister.
“John died very young of a burst appendix and Eilleen had mental health problems and died young as well.”
Eileen was born on March 24, 1968, and John on March 15, 1969, and in March this year, the couple, who are both retired, were able to visit the graves to mark their birthdays.
Pat said: “Richard’s foster son Roy also volunteered to go with him. He said he wanted to go as it was his brother and sister.”
Richard felt the time was right to share his story after reading a national report of an Oldham councillor calling for the government to create a national memorial for stillborn and miscarried babies, after a grave of around 300 babies was discovered.
Richard said: “After reading the story, I thought how many grave yards, even in Grantham, are there with these babies? How many people don’t know where their children are and can't get the information from anybody to find them?
“When we went to Bullwell Cemetery, they told us they didn’t even know this grave of babies was there.
“They said they are going to clean up the area where they were.”
Pat added: “They should be a central page to find out where these babies are.
“Our age group are not tech whizzes and it’s hard to know where to start. However, don’t give up.
“It must eat away at people, to carry a baby, give birth and have it whipped away from you and not know where it has gone is heartbreaking.”
Richard visited Eileen and John’s graves over the Christmas period.
Dr Manjeet Shehmar, medical director at Nottingham University Hospitals NHS Trust, said: “We are sorry to hear of the loss of Mr Pollard’s two babies in 1968 and 1969, and we apologise that Mr Pollard did not feel the trust’s response was supportive enough when we were initially contacted in 2021.
“We hope knowing their final resting place is of some comfort to Mr Pollard.”
