Don't get in a Paddy...

Last week. I saw coverage of an interview with Paddy McGuinness - from ITV's Take Me Out - about his autistic twins. Note how I said 'autistic twins' and not 'twins with autism?'

Of course, every autistic person has a right to choose how they identify but it has been reported that many autistic people prefer the 'identity-first language' rather than 'person-first language' which would be saying 'someone WITH autism.'

What does language have to do with Paddy McGuinness? Well, words have power and it's important to accurately reflect autistic people's identities and by saying 'people with autism,' the implication for so many autistic people is that autism is a removable part of someone's identity.

Paddy McGuinness is a celebrity who has a privileged level of influence over the world but he is also a dad and I have seen many parents of autistic children finding themselves 'mourning' for a 'loss' or 'regretting' the autistic person.

I do not want Paddy's children or anyone involved in their lives to think autism is saying 'Take Me Out'.

To quote a friend who is a parent, it is the 'preconceived idea rather than the child themselves that people mourn. Having a child who is different can be stressful in many ways: you wonder if you are doing enough to help them or are you doing too much; the battle for understanding, recognition and support; the many flashpoints in a day where your child needs help; the behavioural aspects; the personal care aspects for those with physical difficulties or incontinence issues; the potential for violence to themselves or others; mental health issues, self harm and suicide and so on'.

Parenting any child is hard and I can totally understand why Paddy may feel some or all of these feelings and go through a mental transition, but as an autistic man who sees and reads about people travelling dangerous and abusive paths such as bleach enemas, it's crucial for someone like me to spark the most productive conversations about autistic people.

Don't have a Paddy and instead I passionately encourage all to reach a place of acceptance and strive to achieve fulfilled, sustainable lives for autistic people.

My friend, quoted above, Paddy and myself all want the same things here.

Having said that, there is a camel milk farm in Bolton - where Mr McGuinness hails from - and I advise against using camel's milk as a 'cure', although I've no doubt it can be tasty in coffee... How much is a train fare to Bolton?

Anyway, back to the matter at hand (a glass of camel's milk?) which is actually the role of parents in the lives of autistic people and, as I've mentioned before, we need to create an 'orchestra of voices' - exactly what the upcoming Going Forward Music Festival is.

I am performing a poem to open the festival among other artists and performers such as Jenny Brown, Matty Haynes, DJ Will and Rhubarb Theatre.

This is Spalding's first ever disability-focused festival and is a unified effort between mums, dads, autistic and disabled people, as well as the integral local community to put on an event for historically under-represented and overlooked people in our society.

I certainly hope to spark the most productive conversations about autistic people and disabled and, you know, it will be good old fun too!

My friend and ally has a parent-run support group on Facebook called South Lincolnshire Autism Family Support Group. More info available here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/110814566040695/?ref=br_rs

Additionally, more info on the Going Forward Music Festival can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/186298771906857/

Contact me on Facebook and Twitter @Callum Brazzo, call or text me on 07528 810172 or go to callumbrazzo.com to connect with me.

Until next Tuesday!