Spalding’s Veterans Support Services offer help to those ‘lost’ after leaving the military
“I’m often told I walk down the street as if I’m ready for a fight,” said Simon Hallam. “But if you put a red tunic on me and a furry thing on my head I’ll walk the exact same way outside Buckingham Palace – but then everybody says how proud they are. It’s all about perception.”
Simon spent 12 years serving in the Army and, in his own words, ‘fought all over the world’.
But after leaving the forces he discovered that conflict remained in his life as attempts to return to civvy street saw him battle with mental health and alcohol issues.
“You join the military in your formative years and it’s quite true what they say; the military does break you and rebuild you into the person they need,” he continued.
“It’s that perception, and we just ask the public to give us the time and to try to understand.
“We were trained to walk with a purpose, trained to be confident, even in the face of really awful circumstances. I would say, if you want to help a veteran, give them time and try to understand them.”
Simon’s story is an all-too-familiar one for servicemen looking to find their way in a society where the rules contrast starkly to the lifestyle they’re accustomed to.
That’s why he and best friend David Poultney, and RAF veteran of 38 years, decided to found the Spalding-based Veterans Support Service.
The community interest company – which aims to offer wide-ranging support to military men and women– holds regular events around the county where groups from the NHS to financial services allow veterans to discover the help available to them.
And it was at the latest of these events - held at Spalding’s South Holland Centre – where these two veterans shared their stories.
“You’re created into this person and when you leave you’ve still got that training and sense of purpose,” David.
“If we’re told we’re going to do something today, you do it today, not three or four weeks down the line.
“That’s where we struggle with it when we come out, finding that same sense of purpose or work ethic you get in the military.
“That’s the main point of these events, to let people know what services are available to them and also that they can talk to these services in one place at one day. It’s raising the awareness.”
Spalding’s event proved popular – similar sessions are also held at Grantham, Lincoln and Skegness – and it is the hope of making difference that spurs the organisers on.
“It’s worth the effort. It’s not easy, but if one person walks through this door and gets the help and support that they need and their life’s been changed, it’s all worth it,” said Simon, who described leaving the Army as a ‘bereavement’ and admitted this leaves many men and women who come through the door struggling to ask for the help they need.
“We’ll always be in the military, our heads will never tell us any different.
“The whole idea of Veterans Support Services came about as David and I are very like minded. When we came out we both struggled with mental health for differening reasons.
“Doctors can help us, clinicians can help us, psychotherapists can help us. But unless you’ve been in the military you can't understand us. It’s the militar mindset. We don’t ask for help, we give it.
“It takes somebody like David or I to look at a veteran who is struggling and say to them in the military way – which is quite colourful at times – ‘don’t be daft, the help is out there’.
“Let the doctors help you and we will understand you. Between us we’ll all get through it together. It’s about the whole person.”
As well as a nudge in the right direction, Veterans Support Service also prides itself on helping former servicemen and women rekindle that cameraderie with monthly Banter and a Brew events held on the first Wednesday of every month at the Chappell Centre on Pinchbeck Road, Spalding (10am-noon).
“You miss that banter, we understand each other far better than someone who hasn’t been in the military,” David added.
“You can’t take that out of you. You’re taught to rely on each other to get the job done and its a sense of loss. I was that institutionalised that when I came out I was lost.
“It doesn’t matter what rank you are, it doesn’t matter what service you were in, we’re all veterans now and you can engage freely.”
And of course, some that that military wit will be there too, as Simon explained: “There’s that warped sense of humour we all had.
“I often remind David I fought all over the world and the RAF kindly gave me a lift. But nothing we say contains any malice and it was something I missed so much.”
One veteran looking forward to the Banter and Brew sessions was Michael Cunningham, who learned about the event when he visited the South Holland Centre.
“Having spent so long in the military it’s nice to meet like minded people,” said the former Royal Hussar, who later went on to work as an admin officer looking after the Territorial Army.
“I look round for ex-military events and they’ll always come up and chat to you.”
For further information on Veterans Support Service visit www.vsscic.org.uk.