Baytree Garden Centre’s Mark Cox is led astray by a TV shopping channel

Baytree Garden Centre’s Mark Cox is inspired to splash the cash by a TV shopping channel to disastrous effect...

I love a gadget, especially when it’s being demonstrated by an overly enthusiastic slightly portly American gentleman complete with his orange female co-host who probably hasn’t had a good meal in at least five years.

Late one night – after the current Mrs Cox went to bed – I happened to accidentally switch the television station over to the shopping channels and for a full 60 minutes I was enthralled by the sensational labour-saving device that was being demonstrated.

The ‘Power Mate 4000’ could clean away engrained mould and dirt from pretty much any surface. Best of all, if I bought one I’d get a free Power-mate bucket worth £49.99. But that wasn’t all, oh no. If when I called in to order I quoted “I love Channel 90” I’d also get the extra-long Power Mate lance for washing those difficult to reach areas for free – and that attachment alone was worth another £79.99.

Well I had to have one. I mean I’d be stupid not too, right. OK, I was spending £200...but if I was to buy them all separately that would have cost me £339.99, what a bargain.

I dialled the number, I queued, I quoted, I paid and then waited 48 hours for delivery. I had so many jobs in mind for the Power Mate 4000 and first on the list would be the cleaning of my greenhouse before I put it to bed for the winter.

Dressed in my best boiler suit and with the device strapped to my back and powered up I looked like a ghostbuster (except I was a grimebuster). With a satisfying click I attached the garden hose to the side of my back pack. I took a pause for dramatic effect before pulling my goggles down over my eyes. For safety, I set the Power Mate 4000 to its lowest power setting, I braced myself just as Brandon and Sarah Ann-May had demonstrated to me only a few days ago.

Boom. Within a few micro seconds I had not only removed the dirt, grime and mould from the glass panes on my greenhouse but I had also removed six of the panes entirely, which were all lying in hundreds of little smashed pieces all over the lawn. Worst of all I couldn’t turn the thing off so, for 20 minutes, I lay there thrashing around on the lawn sending plooms of high pressure water into my trees and borders. This seemed to have the effect of stripping leaves, flower heads and just about everything else in this bucking bronco of a power washers sights.

It was only when my dearest wife – having watched me for the last 20 minutes in fits of laughter – switched the water off at the tap that my ordeal finally came to an end.

After raking the leaves from my lawn and collecting the shards of broken glass from the garden I eventually set about cleaning the greenhouse with a bucket of soapy warm water mixed with disinfectant. Two hours later the job was done. The glass was clean – well the pieces that still remained were – and all of my planting benches sparkled, and I could almost see my face in them.

I understand that the video my dear wife uploaded to several social media platforms has now gone viral and channel 90 has removed the item from their product line up.

Saying that though they have just released the Lawn Rover 800 which promises to mow your lawn and do the dishes afterwards. What do you think?