Our team takes on the burger and cheesecake challenges at the Crown Hotel in Holbeach
Could you take on a monster eating challenge? We sent reporter Duncan Browne and news editor Victoria Fear wearing their best eating trousers to see if they were up to the task...
Your eyes are most definitely bigger than your stomach - and the Crown Hotel’s wall of shame is proof.
The Holbeach venue is yet to see a hopeful complete either their mouthwatering cheesecake and burger challenges.
Plenty have tried to wolf down an eight-inch cheesecake in 10 minutes or demolish a giant beef and chicken burger stack with trimmings in 25 since the gauntlet was laid down.
But, to date, everyone has failed, with willing members having their picture added to the list of beaten diners which pops up on the big screen TV.
If you beat the clock you eat for free. But so far that has not been the case for any hopeful - the cheesecake costing £15 and the burger platter £25.
Despite her till ringing over, landlady Charli Griffiths continues to root for her customers.
“I’d love to see somebody do it,” she said. “It would be great to say someone completed it.
“I’ve seen videos on YouTube of professionals making challenges look like a walk in the park. It can be done.”
Crown regular Tom Shaw came within two mouthfuls of finishing his cheesecake in the allotted time, and Charli is adamant he could complete the task at his second attempt.
While the challenges have proven a hit with diners, the Crown are toying with introducing fresh tests to - literally - spice things up.
“We’re thinking of doing a hot one,” landlord Stuart Griffiths said.
“With hot wings, hot sauce and chillis, things like that. To see who could handle the heat.”
What is the cheesecake challenge?
One for the sweet-toothed adventurer. This giant cheesecake is approximately eight inches in diameter and two inches tall.
Finish it in 10 minutes and you eat for free. If not, the dessert costs £15.
What is the cheeseburger challenge?
This is the test of all tests for self-proclaimed meat lovers. Three chicken burgers and three cheese-doused beef burgers stacked in a bun with additional salad, with sides of cheesy chips, onion rings and coleslaw.
The feast costs £25 - unless you clear your plate in 25 minutes.
Vikki's cheesecake challenge
If there was ever a challenge I was born for, I was sure that eating cheesecake would be it.
On a good day with a fair wind, I could give Augustus Gloop a run for his money when it comes to eating.
My appetite usually knows no bounds - and neither does my sweet tooth. Recently I devoured a chip supper before attacking a box of brownies, some cheese and biscuits, a cake and some sweets. Food is a hobby!
So with that kind of ‘training’ behind me, the words ‘easy’ came out of my mouth after I heard about the cheesecake challenge which is being run by The Crown Hotel in Holbeach.
A whole biscoff and cream cheesecake which was approximately eight inches in diameter sounded like my kind of heaven. And not having to share with anyone else. Perfect! Only downside is that you only have 10 minutes to get through it.
When the biscoff cheesecake was brought around the corner, my mouth was watering. It looked absolutely stunning - a creamy whopper with a lovely caramel topping. Although it did have quite a height on it.
Publicans Stuart and Charli Griffiths gave me a hint on the technique adopted by previous challengers, which include using your hands and shovelling it in. Apparently it’s not good if you have a beard.
I opted for cutting it in half and then diving in with a fork.
The first mouthful was absolutely delicious. It tasted so good that I thought that maybe I could manage the challenge out of pure greed rather than a competitive determination.
And that is where I think I went wrong.
Some people might have gone for an easy start but instead I opted for just shovelling massive forkful after massive forkful after massive forkful.
It didn’t take me too long to get a quarter of the way through the cheesecake and as it was silky smooth it wasn’t that hard.
But from then on I started to hit a wall and had to slow down a little as for once - and I am shocked at this - my sweet tooth was failing me. This never usually happens to me. Even on Christmas Day I don’t feel sick of a three courser and a mountain of chocolates.
I began to feel a bit sick and my fork was not so heavily laden down with cheesecake.
At the end of my 10 minutes, I had managed to devour half of the cheesecake which I didn’t think was bad going but not as ‘easy’ as I thought it would be.
And I have to heartily recommend The Crown ladies as they know a decent movie - Grease 2 all the way!
Duncan's burger challenge
Do you ever get the feeling you’ve bitten off more than you can chew?
That was certainly the case for me as the clock on the big-screen TV at Holbeach’s Crown Hotel ticked down to zero and my attempt at completing the burger challenge ended.
A six-patty, two-meat burger with sides? Finish in 25 minutes? I’ll do that before you can say Homer Simpson.
That’s what I foolishly thought. But, like an egg on its way to becoming an omelette, I ended up truly beaten.
The enormity of the task became evident as soon as the huge tray of grub was placed in front of me.
Suddenly, the burger stack - six chicken breasts, three beefburgers decorated with melted cheese, bacon rashers and salad in a generous bun - looked larger than All Saints’ spire.
The pool of cheesy chips would fill the Fishpond Lane nature reserve pond and the mountain of onion rings could comfortably been seen from distance on the flat fenland.
When I first heard about the burger challenge I fancied my chances, and I won’t be the only one to back myself in the time-honoured art of stuffing my face.
Tactics were discussed with those assembled by the bar beforehand.
One told me the trick is to shovel, shovel and shovel without stopping because a break is as detrimental as quitting. Another suggested mashing the food together and mixing the flavours to keep the palette excited.
But the tip I took to the table was the ‘carbs first’ method - smash your way through the chips before the cheesy topping had the chance to congeal and become a hard thrill to swallow. It was a method that looked to be paying off as there was no potato left on my plate within four minutes.
Twenty-one to go - bring on the meat.
But this is where the feast started to turn into defeat.
One coated chicken burger and one cheeseburger later and I’d effectively eaten a full meal, yet was just a third of the way through my platter.
Soldiering on I managed two further burgers, asking myself what sort of twisted sadist thought this meal needed a side of slaw?
But with six minutes to go I’d had my fill. I attempted to pick at my plate, but with thoughts of Monty Python’s Mr Creosote in my mind, I called it quits.
Like the onion rings I failed to finish, I’d had a battering.
Fellow diner Paul Williamson - sat on the next table and adopting ‘meat-first’ policy - fought to the end, his plate cleaner than mine but still not cleared.
All that was left was for me to pose by my plate for a photo, my failure for all to see on the Crown’s wall of shame.
But in my defence, there had been enough food served up to feed my family of four (even Jack Spratt and his wife wouldn’t have managed this). So I left with my head as high as my gut was low.
I failed the eating challenge but chef Samantha Lewis - who weighs all the ingredients to ensure every plate is exactly the same - was a definite winner, comfortably passing the taste test with a delicious meal I’d definitely recommend.
I’d happily return to the Crown Inn, albeit for a normal-sized portion. But - with hard lessons learned - next time I may check out the vegetarian options.
Paul's burger challenge attempt
“I’m exhausted!”
That was how Paul Williamson was left feeling after attempting the Crown Hotel’s Burger Challenge.
Despite clearing most of his plate - and chewing hard until the bitter end - the 25-minute timescale proved just too much for the pub regular.
“If you’d have given me an hour I’d have done it,” Paul joked.
“I saw it advertised and thought I wanted to have a go.
“I really thought I could do it, but ran out of time. It’s harder than it looks.”
