King's Cliffe man set up 'Shameless Mental Health' YouTube channel
When it comes to mental health it is still somewhat of a taboo subject.
It’s not always easy for people to voice their issues, especially when you can’t even admit to yourself what the problem is.
For Sean Coakley it took a big life experience before he was able to take steps to improve his wellbeing.
From alcohol, drugs and violence to being wanted by the police, the 43-year-old faced an inner conflict everyday before being sectioned last year.
Sean, who lives in King’s Cliffe, said: “I went through a period of five years and lost absolutely everything.
“I was homeless, involved with drugs and drink - all of it.
“I often had police looking for me.
“I was involuntarily sectioned but I then surrendered to it and co-operated with the process. Then I was diagnosed with psychosis and borderline personality disorder.”
He spent much of his time in the hospital journalling and in intensive therapy sessions which allowed him to come to terms with issues he hadn’t faced.
Sean’s life took a downwards spiral after he discovered someone he previously looked up to, who had just died, was sexually abusive - something he found difficult to come to terms with.
Going from running 20-strong teams in big companies across the country, he fell into a life of violence and crime which caused him to lose relationships and jobs.
“I was quite violent and I didn’t care about anything,” the father-of-three said.
“Looking back, it was getting out of hand. Police turned up to an incident as they believed I was a danger to the general public or myself.
“Being sectioned protects someone struggling with their mental health.”
He praised the access to mental health services across the NHS, but encouraged friends, family and colleagues to spot the signs of someone who is struggling, adding: “People have killed themselves because nobody noticed.”
“I didn’t realise how much I carried. The acknowledgement there was something wrong is the beginning of the journey,” Sean said.
“That journey to wellbeing doesn’t start until you look in the mirror and acknowledge the problem. I was too stubborn to believe I had something wrong.”
After being released from hospital, Sean was determined not to slip into old habits and signed himself up for a close protection course which required weeks of intense training with a view to getting involved in the security industry.
It was there he realised how mental health still remains a taboo subject, particularly among men in their 40s and 50s.
He recalled how the other men on his course were ‘shocked’ he was speaking about personal issues so candidly and openly.
From there he knew something had to be done to allow people to open up, and last month, he created a YouTube channel - Shameless Mental Health.
Through a selection of short motivational videos he discusses topics such as the effects of social media, alcohol dependency and recovery which he encourages people to watch.
“I want to use the power of what I’ve been through to do motivational speaking,” he said. “I know people may be secretly struggling and that’s what needs to change.”
He added: “The response I have had is phenomenal. Somebody shared it on a mental health forum in a different country - if it reaches someone that far it is incredible.
“It means so much change to a person’s life. You don’t know what anybody else is going through so I’m going to use those past experiences to help others.”
He believes that what sets him apart from traditional therapists is his ‘alpha male persona’, which will help him reach people of the same ilk, contrasting to counsellors who are trained not to hurt people’s feelings.
“I think representing that alpha male gives me the opportunity to get people’s attention and tell them how it is,” said Sean.
“I’m not well-educated and I grew up on council estates so I know what it’s like to have it hard.
“I think I have got a lot to offer. It scares me that children are wandering into the world silently suffering. I feel I need to teach them so much which I want to do because I destroyed my life and the best thing that happened is that now I have everything.”
Recently Sean helped a teenager who had been wielding a knife in a town centre.
He was able to de-escalate the situation and take the boy home, which he puts down to his straight-talking attitude.
He has since been in touch with the teenager and his mum who have thanked him.
Sean believes it is even more difficult for men in their 40s and 50s who are struggling with mental health issues, as it is less common for them to open up about their feelings.
He said that instead of addressing the issues they embark on a ‘path of destruction’ and described how it was important to shift the pattern.
Sean said: “There’s a stereotype of a stiff upper lip, dry your eyes and get on with your life.
“[Mental health] is not a thing you tend to talk about at work or at the pub.
“There’s that old mental health cliché that it’s OK to say you’re not OK. “
Sean has plans to get into public speaking and education for young adults, describing the current resources provided by schools and the government as ‘appalling’.
He said: “I think there needs to be more strong characters like me. If people ask a question I will give an honest answer.
“I’m the guy that lost everything from being an idiot.”
He hopes to set up the Bridging of the Gap Foundation to help young offenders aged between 16 and 21 have the chance to redeem themselves before being jailed.
This would include plans within the justice system to provide an alternative for prolific young offenders before getting sentenced to show they can get their life on track.
Through this they would be required to channel their energy into activities such as sport and music.
“It isn’t community service. We will demand respect and provide something great. When they leave we will compile a report on what they have done in six to 12 months and if they are either recommended for conviction or not,” he said.
He described it as his way of ‘giving back after all the madness’, but is worried that because of his past, there could be a limit on how much he can achieve.
“If you can channel a young person’s energy into sport or music. Strong individuals exposing how they feel through the process. “
“The problem I have got is because of who I am madness created there’s a limit to how much I can achieve,” he said.
Sean is urging people and organisations which believe they can help with his vision or vice versa to get in touch by email: sdcoakley@gmail.com.
