Animal behaviour expert Karen Wild explains why you shouldn't stroke a dog without asking.
We all pat the dog, we all pat the dog. Please don’t!
My friend was telling me about someone who marched across to her dog the other day, went to stroke him without asking, and scared him. The dog then barked at the person in fear. The person scurried off, angrily.
Who was at fault?
The idea that ‘all dogs should be friendly’ is really unfair on dogs. Why should a dog put up with your need to fluff them up now and again? Of course, if it’s your own dog, and you know your dog well enough, I hope, to know what sort of touch they enjoy. You’d be amazed how many people miss the signs, however. They just put their own needs first, which is always unfair on dogs who didn’t get the chance to say ‘no thanks, not right now’.
Dogs do not work well with people they don’t know. I have been in situations where parents encourage their kids to come over and pet the dogs in my care. They then become upset when I ask them not to. I am not mean, I just care about my dogs. They don’t want to meet everyone, especially not those that might scare them. My dogs are very well socialized and happy, settled pooches. But, in the past a child has swooped onto my smallest dog and tried to pick him up. Seeing his little shocked face was horrible and I felt annoyed that someone had upset him. If the parents can’t control their children, then I have to. Even if we are nice, we dog owners are still seen to be ‘rude’ when we say, ‘No, please do not touch my dog’!
We want people to be kind to dogs, but this involves asking the dog’s permission to be touched. A person that a dog does not know, going over to ‘pat’ it on the head is NOT friendly, even though the person thinks it is. Few dogs enjoy the attention. I witness dogs simply putting up with it. I also meet owners that are too embarrassed to say no. Imagine if a stranger came up and suddenly put their hands on you? Or patted you on the head?
Our poor dogs don’t talk using words, but their body language speaks for itself. Dogs draw back from unwanted contact – their ears pull back, their heads lower, they try to move away. Remember that being patted on top of the head means reaching out and touching the dog right over their eyes. Rarely a welcome place to have a stranger place their hand.