Former Nottingham Forest, Derby County and Celtic footballer Kris Commons and wife use their wedding to fund grief and growth retreats for the bereaved

A former Nottingham Forest footballer and his wife asked their wedding guests to donate money to help fund retreats to help others who, like them, have lost a child.

Kris Commons and Lisa Hague tied the knot this summer after a 22-year engagement – and they now want to support parents from across the region.

This includes funding grieve and growth retreats in Sherwood Forest, offering a safe space among nature for the bereaved to talk and tell their story.

The family had a stillborn baby, Lola, on February 1, 2008 and, ever since, they have been involved with counselling and helping others who have been through similar experiences as them.

Lola died when Lisa’s pregnancy had reached its full term.

She explained: “We very quickly got thrust into this world of giving birth, giving her a name, there's gonna be a funeral and we realised quite quickly that life was never going to be the same again and that we would always have a part of our family missing.

“She was our firstborn. We did go on to have April, William and Jack who are nearly 11, 13 and 14.

“It was a happy ending but still doesn't take it away that Lola was our first and that we should have always had one more.”

The couple, who live in Kelham near Newark, decided to have a small wedding in Chesterfield – around the same time Kris celebrated his 40th birthday – after a 22-year engagement.

Lisa added: “Rather than buying us a wedding gift, as there is nothing that we need or want, we set up a JustGiving page and there was over £2,000 donated.

“The money will be used towards the grieve and growth retreats and to offer people free spaces to the retreats.”

The money raised provided four free spaces for people to the Edwinstowe retreat taking place on February 23, 2024, at Edwinstowe Village Holidays, just outside Sherwood Forest. They plan to host another one in Scotland next year.

Get our news delivered straight to your inbox every morning - sign up to The Briefing here.

Lisa had decided to not have a wedding dress as a way of saving the money towards the cause, however, Anne Priscilla Bridal in Glasgow donated dresses to Lisa and her bridesmaids.

“It’s an amazing gift for us to have money raised in Lola’s name and it will also allow her legacy to live on,” the mother added.

When the couple moved to Scotland for Kris to play for Celtic in 2011, Lisa made connections with the Scottish charity SIMBA, which works with hospitals to furnish family rooms within maternity units to offer families the opportunity to spend time with their babies.

The charity also provides Memory Boxes to bereaved parents to help gather timeless and precious memories of their child. There are three different types of boxes, dedicated to miscarriage, mid-term and stillborn.

In 2013, Lisa established The Lola Commons fund for SIMBA, which aims to redecorate and refurbish hospital rooms and provide vital equipment including camera equipment, fold-down beds for partners to stay and ‘cuddle cots’.

Lisa studied counselling at university and has achieved a diploma in grief and bereavement, a path she embarked on after losing Lola.

“I have not been bereaved before Lola and then I became this person in Glasgow that people would walk up to me. Instead of going to Kris first and talking to him about football they would come up to me and tell me their story, who they lost and I just became that connection with people, they had that in common with me,” said Lisa.

The couple’s 14-year-old daughter, April, said to her mother: “We have given out 40,000 memory boxes in Scotland and across the UK in Lola’s memory.

“For a little girl that never took a breath, she will probably do more in her life than I will ever do in mine.”

The couple held its first retreat in the summer of 2022 and they are dedicated to any sort of loss, from baby loss to family and friends.

Lisa said: “We tried to put something together that I wish I had when Lola had died. It’s not doom and gloom and everybody sat in a big circle just crying, it’s to find the new you.

“When somebody you love dies you change... and you start to become a new person and it is about watching people become that new person in front of your eyes. It’s their healing journey and for us to create that space.

“In someone’s memory, you can achieve so much which is part of the healing process.

“People hold a lot of guilt when others pass away and everyone deserves to be happy, we only get one life as we know it on this earth and we all deserve to have a happy and fulfilled life and that is part of what the retreat is about, instilling some self-love back into yourself and realise that you deserve to be happy.”

Kris Commons played for Stoke City, Nottingham Forest, Derby County, Celtic and Hibs across his career. He also won 12 caps for Scotland.

To find out more – or to help the project – contact lisa@hagueretreats.co.uk

What do you think about this idea? Would you like to see more places offer grieve and grow retreats? Post your comments below