Family ‘heartbroken’ after items removed from Barrowby grave of boy who died aged 11

A devastated family has launched a petition after memorial items were removed from their son’s grave.

The family of Matthew Jack, who died from cancer on November 19, 1995, aged 11, have been left “heartbroken” after mementos and keepsakes were removed from his grave in Barrowby’s burial ground.

Barrowby Parish Council, which is responsible for managing the site, say that - for health and safety reasons - decorations and flowers should only be placed on the memorial and its base and not the lawned grave area.

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Matthew’s mother, Val Jack, said: “Myself and my family are heartbroken. This is one of the ways of keeping his memory alive. He was a very colourful person, in life and attitude, so the colour on his grave mark that and everybody loves to see it.

“[The parish council] also said that it has always been a rule of the burial ground to be grassed over and nothing on the graves. Matt’s is not grassed and has had ornamentals and flowers all over his grave for 28 years.”

Matthew’s sister, Kelly Wright, set up a petition calling for the return of the items to his grave.

It has so far been signed over 170 times and can be found here.

She said: “These items are more than just objects; they represent our love for him and our way of remembering his short but impactful life.

“[Our mother] cannot buy him presents on birthdays or Christmases like she would for a living child; these tokens were her only means to express her enduring love for her departed son.

“We understand that parishes need to maintain their cemeteries – and sometimes this involves removing items from grave sites. However, we believe that families should be consulted before such actions are taken - especially when those items hold such deep personal significance.”

Barrowby Parish Council say “several letters” were sent and “numerous attempts” were made to the discuss the issue with Val.

In a statement responding to the petition, they said: “The parish council, as the burial authority, has a duty of care and is responsible for the management and safety of the burial ground and is, as a last resort, able to take such actions as necessary to achieve this.

“The burial ground is designated as a lawned area and the council takes great pride in the maintenance and overall standard of care.

“Our published policy has existed since the inception of the parish burial ground itself in 1973 and it clearly states that for health and safety reasons, and to help ease of ongoing maintenance activities, decorations and flowers should only be placed on the memorial and its base not on the lawned grave area itself.

“Turf should not be removed or any border erected around the grave. Plastic adornments, lighting or sound effects of any kind are not permitted anywhere in the burial ground.

“Since March 2023, the burial ground authority has tried to manage this issue sympathetically, being mindful of the situation and emotions involved. Several letters have been sent and numerous attempts made to discuss this issue with Mrs Jack asking for her to please comply with the stated policy, one being left at the grave politely asking Mrs Jack to contact us to discuss the issue.

“As these requests have not been successful, it has been necessary to remove the objects and place them safely into storage ready for collection by Mrs Jack.

“This is the only grave in the burial ground where this has been an issue, following Mrs Jack's complaint we have now been able to arrange a meeting with her where we hope to find a resolution which satisfies all parties.”

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