Secret Drinker reviews The Britannia in Boston
It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say boarded up windows isn’t a good look for a pub.
Images of bar brawls and rowdy regulars instantly spring to mind. It’s all a bit Porky’s, conjuring up pictures of an unwanted drinker leaving the establishment head first through the pane.
Admittedly, that was what jumped into my mind as I clocked The Britannia.
There’s no doubt it’s a picturesque pub in a picturesque street scene; cobbles take you to the door while the eye-catching Boston Stump looms in the background of this narrow street.
I’m sure the boarded up windows - their reasons I don’t know, but I understand they’ve been there some time - may have put some drinkers off entering, but this column has already shown me never to judge a pub by first impressions.
So, in I went and, of course, there wasn’t any trouble at all. No fights, no threatening stares. Actually, no people.
Yep. Apart from the barmaid - face firmly in her phone and telling me she’d be ‘with you in a minute’ - I had the entire place to my own.
With Fosters, Inch’s, Moretti and Madri (not available on the night) on the pumps, I went for a Moretti, served to me in a plastic pint glass (again, Porky’s images).
The barmaid returned to her screen, making me wonder whether or not I was going to get a drink on the house.
But as she placed the device to the bar I clocked it was doubling up as a card machine. One quick kiss of our phones and £5.60 had been passed on.
Reviewing a pub is normally a case of finding an available seat, checking out my surroundings, listening in on conversations and sneaking a snapshot of other areas.
But with the place to myself I had free rein to wander and find out the hidden treasures - and boy, there were some of those - at my own pace.
Opposite the bar is a small room with a pool table centre stage, plus a larger area without seating which is, presumably, used for dancing on nights busier than this.
Down some steps is a small VIP area with its own hatch to the bar, plus a backroom where - if the mood takes you - you could show off your strength at one of two cash-powered punching bags.
But the one theme through all the rooms was the fast-moving images on big screens showing music channel videos which didn’t match up with the thumping tunes coming out the speakers.
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For example, during one surreal moment I found myself mesmerised by the flashing images of a 2 Unlimited vid while Ice Cube was happily telling me ‘you can do it, put your ass into it’.
The Brit - as I’m told locals call it - is a nicely decorated, well presented pub which is clearly aimed at a late-night audience born decades after I last entered a nightclub.
If I had to liken it to any on my travels I’d have to point to - by style and design - to The Grapes in Sleaford.
Perhaps neither would be my pub of choice, but in an age where the young ‘uns aren’t going out boozing like they used to it’s pleasing to see them still catered for.
I just hope the boarded up windows don’t put them off.
THE BRITANNIA, CHURCH STREET, BOSTON, PE21 6NW
DECOR: Forget the boarded up windows and it’s a lovely looking pub both inside and out. The big screens and punch bags aren’t my thing, but they wouldn’t be there if they weren’t popular with the clientele. 3/5
DRINK: The plastic glass didn’t do my Moretti (ABV 4.6%) any favours and it tasted flat. 2/5
PRICE: I paid £5.60, which wasn’t the most I’ve paid for this beer. But with the plastic glass it didn’t come across as good value. 2/5
ATMOSPHERE: I mean, the music was loud and there was plenty of banging tunes, But it’s hard to judge on a quiet night, particularly when you’re the only punter. I can’t justify a mark here.
STAFF: The barmaid was lovely. After the phone went down we had a natter and she was a very chatty, likeable lady. I can only presume talking to me is a more enjoyable prospect when there’s no better options around. 4/5
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