Secret Drinker reviews The Red Lion in Skegness
There was a bit of banter flying around the Red Lion as I waited to place my order at the bar.
“I’m having another one so I guess you will ‘n all?” said one bloke to his mate at they hovered by the big, bright fruit machines.
“Are you calling me an alcoholic?” the pal replied.
“No,” responded the first guy, quick as a flash. “I’m calling you a tight b******!”
The two men, and their mates, began laughing loudly and a few chuckles were spotted on neighbouring tables.
Thinking this was the place to sit and soak up the atmosphere I grabbed my pint and headed to this corner of the oddly-shaped Skegness’ JD Wetherspoon, where I spotted a staff member collecting empties through a well-lit hatch as if it was an Edward Hopper in real life.
But in one of those ‘was it me?’ moments, the two chatty blokes picked up their pints and headed off for a fag, never to return and leaving me with a weird mix of folk.
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Yeah, Spoons always attracts an odd mix, but you’ll never get an odder mix anywhere round these parts than Skeggy, where those holidaymakers throw in a real curve ball to Lincolnshire life.
It was half term so there was an unusual smattering of kids - their faces lit up by tablets and smartphones as their parents boozed away - about for a pub at lunchtime in mid-week.
Some were even straight off the train, bright pink suitcases-on-wheels by tables the giveaway, as families treated themselves to a drink or a bite to eat before check-in time.
But there were also plenty of the daytime regulars in too, the regulars staff greet at the bar not by their name but by their drink of choice in a questioning manner.
Unless, of course, I’m totally wrong and the man in the woolly hat and tracksuit really was called ‘Carling?’.
The Red Lion - formerly the Lion Hotel, which sits opposite the imposing Lumley - really is an oddly-shaped building; one long, long - almost too long - corridor of tables, chairs and trademark Spoons carpet, with two square-ish rooms tucked away either end.
Annoyingly, for the punters and staff carrying out the plates of grub, the bar and kitchen are at one end and if you’re at the other it’s a bit of a trek.
My seat was close to the bar where I was looking forward to trying a pint of Lost In Mosaic, an IPA I’d not had the pleasure of before.
Tragically, the barman - getting round to me after taking a number of lengthy food orders from people who had joined the queue well after me - told me it had just gone.
Following a quick scan of the pumps the most exotic thing I could spot was… drum roll please… Doom Bar.
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But just when I thought it wasn’t my day I realised this cheaper pint had saved me 3p. Gotta take the small wins, eh?
Overall, The Red Lion isn’t a bad pub. It’s standard Spoons, not the best one I’ve been too, certainly not the worst.
But plenty of people in there were having fun, so more power to them. Happy holidays.
THE RED LION, ROMAN BANK, SKEGNESS, PE25 2RU
DECOR: Is ‘Spoonsy’ a word? It should be. The usual JD decor but down an elongated corridor. The tiled bar was a nice touch. 3/5
DRINK: A pint of Doom Bar. Not my first choice but not my last. 3/5
PRICE: At £2.75 you can’t grumble, not when you’ve saved 3p. 4/5
ATMOSPHERE: Things started promisingly until the two pals went off for their cigarette. Tables kept to themselves, as did the kids with their tablets. 3/5
STAFF: Nice enough, and plenty of them. But I was in the queue before those diners, pal. 3/5
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